Monday, June 20, 2005

Play us a song, you're the guitarra man

It's approaching 2pm as I write this, and I have done almost nothing productive all day.

I did manage to take a shower and drive to work. But nothing since.

(Yawn. Belly scratch.)

Short weekend. Who decided that Father's 'Day' was only one Sunday a year? Shouldn't it be a week-long festival like an Italian wedding? And don't even get me started on Mother's Month!

Do you get an additional day for each kid? No!?

(Yawn.)

Yep, yep yep.

Let's see. What else? Oh, I had mentioned that I saw Desperado over the weekend. I've got to say that I didn't like it. Somehow over the last 10 years since its release, I had gotten the idea in my head that it was supposed to be a good movie. I don't know where I got that idea, maybe I made it up? First, Cheech got killed. That's just wrong on so many levels. Then some kid got shot. Was I supposed to care about the kid? Maybe the movie should have let me know.

So Mr. Guitarra had such a strong love for his slain woman that he was willing to kill everyone to exact his revenge. He would gladly die for the chance to punish those responsible. And what was the first thing that he did as soon as the opportunity presented itself?

Yep, he slept with Salma.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I can't sympathize to some degree. But am I supposed to believe in the purity of his love? It seems less likely to me that he avenging her death, as avenging his property having been taken from him. When you're Banderas, women come and go; but nobody better fuck with your stuff.

I think I just wrote the one-line Cliff Note for the movie. Or maybe the trailer voice-over.

And the damned ending. With the brother secret. If you're going to pull that kind of shit, at least make it interesting.

"Luke, I am your brother."
"Yeah, I figured it out this morning."
"Er, uh. Ok. Join me, we'll run the drug cartel together!"
"No... you seem to be a pretty unwholesome chap, and I'd rather not."
"Then I guess I'll have to kill your new girl."
"I told you not to fuck with my stuff!!" BLAM BLAM BLAM.

And then we visit the kid in the hospital, then Salma gives us a ride, then we throw the guitar case out of the jeep, then we pick it back up.

Salma, you're such an enabler.

I should have stuck to my usual Saturday afternoon fare - giant bug movies on the SciFi Channel. Sigh.

10 Comments:

At 6/20/2005 02:40:00 PM , Blogger kotamaris said...

*sigh* I miss SciFi channel. Too cheap to go the whole 800 channels route. Aaaah Farscape. *droool*

 
At 6/20/2005 03:54:00 PM , Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

Yep, that's pretty much the movie right there, just as you described it.
Why didn't you like it again?
Stuff blows up, Salma naked, MORE stuff blows up and then some more stuff blows up. THE END.
Great movie.

El Mariachi was better. It's the same damn movie, BUT IN SPANISH!!!

Don't bother with Once Upon A Time In Mexico the 3rd part of the story.
There's hardly any Salma, not as much stuff blows up and you get to see Johnny Depp eat the same meal 3 or 4 times. I think they tried to have a plot in the 3rd one and it just ruined everything. Don't bother.

 
At 6/20/2005 03:58:00 PM , Blogger Yawn said...

El Mariachi is 500 times better and closer to my heart in a personal way than that Desperado drivel. Besides, when I saw it, it was a double feature with GG Allin: Hated in America.

I missed Once Upon a Time in Mexico.

 
At 6/20/2005 04:12:00 PM , Blogger KOM said...

I saw it on commercial TV - no nekid Salma. But that alone might have kept this titanic from sinking completely. Now I've got a good reason to go rent it! Naw, screw it. Once bitten, twice shy.

 
At 6/20/2005 05:05:00 PM , Blogger Jason said...

For some reason I can't quite put my finger on, unwholesome chap is awfully funny to me.

 
At 6/20/2005 06:22:00 PM , Blogger Lisa said...

I just like any movie with steve buscemi in it =) I think he's a great actor !!

 
At 6/20/2005 08:58:00 PM , Blogger Passerby A said...

You know, I've got work coming out of my ears and I could use some help. ;P

 
At 6/21/2005 04:01:00 AM , Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

KOM buddy, nekkid Salma is SO worth renting.
Borrow it, steal it or something. You WON'T be sorry.

 
At 6/21/2005 01:08:00 PM , Blogger David said...

Yep Salma being naked would have made you forget about him avenging his lost love. After they showed her naked I didn't even remember why he was killing people.

I agree 100% with Mothers Month though. Good point

 
At 6/21/2005 06:20:00 PM , Blogger SassyAssy said...

We were suppose to care about a plot when we watched this movie? (Slap forehead)! I thought is was all about Banderas' sex appeal. Salma who? That was me on screen with him thank you very much.

 

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