The Unfriendly Skies

It's time to come clean.

I'm a video game junkie. Or at least I would be if I had more time.

(Yes, I'm sure that you're all shocked. You may can the act and continue to read.)

Do kids even say "video game" anymore? Would they know an arcade if Pac-Man and Joust both slapped them?

I remember, barely, the day that my dad brought the Atari 2600 home for the family. Sweet, sweet Christmas. I remember crying in the face of my other toys, awaiting the magic machine to be hooked up to our TV. I wanted to play Pac-Man so bad I gleeked ghosts and power pellets.

My Mom and I used to play Super Breakout together. Remeber the Atari paddles that stopped working after 2 months? Remember when you finally got the ball on top of the formation?

My vengeful sister, 10 years my senior, used to love playing Star Wars with me - the first Atari adaptation of the game where you are a Snow-Speeder, trying to shoot ATAT's. She was so smug, and she always beat me.

Remember Megomania? Pitfall? Adventure? Combat?

On another Christmas, the Nintendo 8-bit system was waiting. My sisters were all grown up and gone - I could enjoy Mario, Zelda and Metroid alone. But I was still infected with their music. I remember Zelda more by Falco's Vienna Calling than by the supplied soundtrack.

The Crash Pad. Those of us that had not gone to University moved into a low-income, roach-infested town house across from Juvenile Hall. There were only 2-3 stabbing deaths in our compaound monthly, so it seemed safe enough...

But one of my friends bought the N64.

Words can not express the absolute shock that I experienced when I first saw Mario 64. It was amazing, engrossing, and totally addictive. We used to play Mario Cart until the wee hours of the night. Turok? Shadows of the Empire? Golden Eye?

As Emeril might say, "Oh yeah, baby!"

I bought myself the original Play Station, because there was an Activision game that emulated many of the best Atari games. Slowly, I added to the library and became a fan of games from Ape Escape to Abe's Oddessey.

Then, the Christmas that must live in my wife's infamy, she bought me a PS2. I still see her from time to time...

That's actually not true. I don't have time to play the damn machine any longer. I have dozens of games, but most of them I have already beaten or don't have time to further pursue. I get to play maybe 3 hours or so a week. But I still enjoy it!

Actually, this whole post was a precursor to a cry for help. I had hoped to gain the audience of the few gamers out there that might read my humble blog, and could help me with a specific task:

The Ace Combat series is amazing, and I nearly creamed my panties when AC5 was released. But since the day that I first played it, I have not been able to pass level 15, "White Noise". I've gone so far as to consult internet "walkthru's" for the title. Still, I can't do it. I simply don't have enough time to keep playing the same level over and over, hoping to pass on a fluke.

So I ask you, oh humble reader, to let me know what to do (Squishi, I'm looking at you - I know that you play video games).

Anyone?

Your gift for reading this far? Are you actually so selfish as to expect something? Fine.

First, download Jnes, an 8-bit NES emulator. This little program will happily play all of your favorite NES titles, provided that your computer is at least a Pentium 3. If you have some kind of joystick, it's easy to set up. Otherwise, we're just talking about the NES, here. Define a few keyboard controls for the A and B buttons and you're good to go. Next, download the following ROM files - these are direct ports of the original games. Enjoy! (Oh, and no one turn me in for some kind of copyright infringement, eh?)

Metroid
Super Mario Brothers
The Legend of Zelda