A few thoughts on Germany

Let me be honest.

I am just fucking around until I find what I would like to say, what I would like to post, and how I would like to present myself in these pages. It's not that I lack the muse, but I lack the guidelines to help me be more productive.

So, that being said, let me tell you how I have been inches away from deleting the "germany posts" from this blog. These were snapshot pictures of my experiences in Germany. They must make for terribly dry reading. It was great to read the old spiral-bound notebook and type it here; that is, it was great for me to re-live experiences that you can only be partly privy to. These journal entries were made when I was nearly 10 years younger, and a world apart from myself. I assure you that I was not as stupid as they make me out to be, but I was writing for me. At no time did I believe that 10 years hence would these thoughts be available on the internet. How could I? It barely existed back then.

So, how did it go?

Jenna and I are still good friends. I think. She was able to fly out from Boston to attend my wedding. Very little has been heard from her since.

Aaron is going to school in Washington. He had his moments, but turned his life around. I hate to sound like an ass, but I am so proud of him. 12 steps and 1 girlfriend later, and he seems to be doing very well indeed.

What about me? Well, since you asked, and as this is my favotite subject, I will respond.

I ingratiated myself on my best friend, who happened to live with some guy named Kevin. I was able to sleep on the couch for $150/month. Mind you, that litterally meant sleeping on the couch, and paying rent (such as it was) for a "buck fifty" per month.

I became a big fan of N64's Golden Eye. Tabulating headshots was a good way to distance myself from the absolute poverty. My other preference was to stay out all night at the local bar, the Lamp Lighter, so that I could avoid Kevin.

I say that I hate Kevin, but I forget exactly why. Maybe it was because he used our rent money to pay his car loan. Perhaps it was because he let all of our utilities run out, so that we had to fill the toilet tank with river water to flush. Maybe it was because he sat bare-chested in his room playing video games while we fielded calls from all of the collection agencies that would like to speak to Kevin. Or maybe it was because he was an ass. Whatever.

As soon as we were able, George and I moved out. But not until seven months - SEVEN MONTHS - of this same shit continued.

Due to our other roommate's valid, but exterior complaints, that lasted only about a year. I was "forced" to move into my girlfriends flat.

Then we got married (despite her Mother's very public offering about "The cow", and "who would want to buy it when...")

Fast forward years. I would not be here now if it weren't for Germany. And I am so glad that I am here.

So I have thought many times about removing the Germany posts. But, while you may not get it, they point to where I am now.

And, as it stands, I wouldn't change the past if you paid me. Except living with Kevin.