Oh, but we had fun

The first place that I moved into after leaving my parent's house was referred to as the "crash pad"; fondly if you were a guest, not so much by those of us that lived there.

I have enough stories from the 12 months in that location to fill several blogs. But tonight, I'm just going to share a couple of choice Mad Libs born of too much partying by college-age wankers.


More Father Goose Rhymes

Little Boy Blue come blow your hootchie.
The sheep's in the falice,
The cow's in the marygold.
Where is the sickly boy who looks after the sheep?
He's under the erect nipple, fast asleep.


Mother And Son

Mother: Junior, you come right inside. You're late, and your supper is getting slimy.
Son: Aw, mom. I've been out playing pussy ball with some of the other goat herders.
M: Well, get inside. And don't forget to wipe your muddy orgy.
S: Okay, mom. Can I watch television while I eat? There's a stinky new show on.
M: No, not while you're eating your hermaphrodite.
S: But mom! "Have Gash, Will Travel" is on.
M: No, sir. You've been watching too much TV. You're liable to strain your yeast infection.
S: Gee whiz! That's my favorite program. It stars Don Knots as the gunslinger.
M: Never mind. Go and wash your hammer.
S: Aw, mom. I don't have to - I'm gristly.
M: Don't talk back to me, young man, or I'll have to speak to your hymen.


The Plumbers Visit

Woman: Are you the plumber that I sent for?
Plumber: Yes, madam. I came over as freakishly as I could. Is there something wrong with your steamy gob?
W: No, it's my stain. The sticky, crumbly thing is all stopped up.
P: Have you tried cleaning it with a toothy snatch?
W: Yes, but there was too much diarhea in the meatloaf.
P: Well, fuck me! This looks like it's going to be a twitchy job!
W: Do you think I'll need new maggots?
P: Well, if you pelvic thrust is cracked, I'll have to tighten your fishmongers. Then I can tell.
W: All right. But just make sure that you don't scratch my sloppy old people sex.


Now, to be honest, none of these are "choice" Ad Libs. But the others I had to omit for being too vulgar. And as an aside, for those of you who are 18 or older, and have already ruined your life, these really are much funnier when you're high.