Friday, December 23, 2005

Freeform Friday, The Xmas Post

Being nearly Christmas The Holidays Winter Break Fuck... uhhh. Oh, hell Christmas, my thoughts were drawn, of course, to the Immaculate Conception.

Or rather, what the Church might be like if it were designed by Rube Goldberg. Starting with a bowling ball falling on a frying pan to pull a rope...

It became neccessary for Christ not only to have been born of a virgin, but he must also be untainted by original sin. However, it would seem that he couldn't be the only one born without orignal sin, or he wouldn't be fully human. And "fully God, mostly human" didn't translate into good ad slogans. Speaking of which, if we could only figure out how to transubstantiate without the trans fats, we'd be onto something. "Now fullyGod! Heart healthy Kosher brain food! Add a sip of blood for an important part of this complete breakfast!"

Anyhow, so's Little Big Guy can be fully human, someone else needs to also have been untainted by those wacky Adam and Eve kids. And what better choice than Mom? Princess Maria of Alderan.

So it becomes important to institute a policy of Immaculate Conception, in which Mary is personally exempted by the grace of God to be fit to carry His Son-self. Which is a chicken and egg issue, because she is chosen because of her purity, but pure because of her having been chosen.

Because it's too damn simple to be amazed at a mere virgin birth.

...which cuts the string that drops the anvil on the button that Poof! knocks up a virgin.

Merry day before the eve.

6 Comments:

At 12/26/2005 04:00:00 PM , Blogger John said...

Why doesn't the doctrine of the immaculate conception regress all the way back to Eve? Or, does the immaculate conception imply that Mary was not fully human?

 
At 12/26/2005 11:17:00 PM , Blogger KOM said...

John,

Welcome, first. This was at the forefront of my mind as I typed away. I have two answers - one, it simply didn't fit with my nice, neat Goldberg hypothosis. Two - "Fully human" is defined after original sin. Eve can not carry "original" sin (up until the bite), because she was the first sinner. She has, simply, sin. All that follows references the "original sin" of Eve.

For the particulars, I would direct you to the same Catholic church which inspired this post. I'm afriad that I can't answer for those knuckleheads.

 
At 12/27/2005 08:23:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Never did understand the whole "Original Sin" thing myself.

I do like the idea of her being Princess Maria of Alderaan, though. Half-sister of Leia?

 
At 12/27/2005 10:14:00 AM , Blogger Moxie Cotton said...

This comment has nothing to do with your post, it's merely a response to the comment you left for me...formalities aside: I highly recommend picking up "palm sunday" - he goes into his family history, his divorce, it has speeches, commencement addresses, lots of good things.

Okay bye.

 
At 12/27/2005 10:54:00 AM , Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

Jesus!

 
At 12/27/2005 04:37:00 PM , Blogger Kingfisher said...

The truly incredible thing is that some think this is less complicated than evolution to explain everything.

Personally, I'm a bigger fan of the Immaculate Reception.

 

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