Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Mount Rushdeath

It was beautiful, and the insects appeared to play us our song, the trees seemed to bow, the rocks, even, to rise at our approach.

I took a picture of our Honeymoon in paradise, little suspecting the horror that awaited.

Behold, the breathtaking Yosemite valley:



One comes to the top of Glacier Point by a narrow, twisting, treacherous road. But the view is spectacular. The tears of awe could fill oceans.

If only they'd known.

I submit to you the pea in our mattress, the new clothes of our emperor, the bear of our Honeymoon:



Like an ancient-day Mt. Rushmore, the Alien has already left his mark on our pristine landscape. Notice the beady eyes and block-a-chock teeth.

This queen in stone must be obliterated.

But reader, the horror does not end here. Submitted further - the foil to my simple paranoia, the mac of alien cheese, the toe-curl to the Rushdeath orgasm:



"What the fuck are you?", it seems to growl. Mirror lake reflects only the white-hot body of a scorpion and the echoing laughs of special operation soldiers. Half Dome itself has sacrificed its face to not have to view the unholy visage of our overlords.

I learned an interesting fact while visiting the museums around the Yosemite Valley. Yosemite means "sometimes they kill."

Mostly they come at night. Mostly.

7 Comments:

At 12/08/2005 03:13:00 AM , Blogger Diane Mandy said...

Despite the warning, this is one place I hope to visit. Thanks, but I'll take my chances.

 
At 12/08/2005 04:12:00 AM , Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

Dude.....Julie Andrews TRIED to warn you!
"The hills are alive...."
sound familiar?
How about "The Hills Have Eyes"?
You were warned, but do you listen?
Nooooooooo.

I like them though, they rock.

 
At 12/08/2005 08:46:00 AM , Blogger Kingfisher said...

I must be stupid.
I don't get it.
Love Yosemite, though.
Camp Curry rocks.
And the hike from Glacier point to the valley, if you survivie it.

 
At 12/08/2005 11:04:00 AM , Blogger THEMARSHAL said...

Yea I plan to see those sights in person one day. I love to hike and camp and what not.

 
At 12/08/2005 12:41:00 PM , Blogger KOM said...

Yeah, this went over like a led balloon. I have always seen the profile of an Alien head in the rock formation. I tried to crop it to be obvious, but I guess if one doesn't see it at all, a closer view isn't going to help. The next shot looks vaguely like a 1/4 profile Predator.

That's all folks. Joke's busted, go home and good night.

Oh yeah, and camp Curry rocks!

 
At 12/08/2005 04:47:00 PM , Blogger Squishi said...

"Ooh NICE boulder. Such a nice boulder, I like what you've done with it".

Pretty rocks though, really. One day in my life I shall make my way over to see them. One day. Maybe after i win $31m in the lottery on NYE. Maybe then i'll even BUY those rocks. Hrm.

 
At 12/09/2005 10:52:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm looking for the alien, really... I just can't see it - maybe if you add some circles and arrows?

 

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