Open letter to Sony

To whom it may concern:

I received the Sony Dream Machine Alarmclock/Radio approximately 17 years ago as a replacement gift after the death of the world's first solid-state alarmclock that I had used in my youth.

As a radio, it has been a bit glitchy (please see my letter dated 4/15/99, titled "Why does my volume knob have an inverse relationship with the actual volume?") But as a timekeeper and faithful alarm, I could not have asked for anything more.

In the last 2 years, however, I have noticed some serious issues with the clock's accuracy. I will list my experiences from last night (6/26-27/05) as an example.

9:34pm - After determining that American Dad was a repeat, I promptly zonked out.
9:43pm - Awoke as wife came to bed. Tried to mention that as soon as I realized American Dad was a repeat, I had fallen asleep. Fell asleep before I finished sentence.
12:37am - Woke up, rolled over, noticed clock. Agreed that it was likely 12:37.
4:47am - Woke up, used restroom and returned to bed.
5:46am - Awoke after only 5 minutes, noticed that clock should have read no later than 4:55am. Shot dirtly glance at clock and pulled covers over head.
6:01am - Wife's alarm sounded. Seeing as only moments had passed, assumed wife's clock to be in collusion with the Dream Machine. Shot nasty look at clock from under covers.
6:46am - This time I know it was only a couple of seconds since I heard the wife's alarm. To think that 45 mintues had passed was absurd. Softly swore at clock from under sheets.
7:01am - Dream Machine alarm sounds. By my reckoning, it should be about 6:15am. I still have another 45 minutes. Pound snooze alarm with fist, swear loudly. Throw pillow over head.
7:10am - Alarm sounds again. I have barely put pillow over head, know that this could not be correct. Think about sleeping in further, decide instead to take a shower.

As you can see, the better part of 2 and 1/2 hours had been recored by my clock in the space of perhaps 30 real-minutes. This is completely unacceptable, and has been slowly robbing me of my sleep.

I have noticed that there are several nice new models of the Dream Machine. One even has a CD player. I recommend that your company replaces my current model with a properly working Alarm clock with a CD player.

And in chrome.

Sincerely,

KOM

PS - Some of the above facts may be innaccurate. However, any inaccuracy has been caused by my inability to get a full nights sleep due to your faulty chronometer.

--------- Update 6/28/05

PPS - Please disregard my previous request and replace my Dream Machine with this alarmclock.