Religion and KOM - Fool's paradise

I'm going to stay up until I get this right.

I often play around here in my LP playground. In fact, I assume that it would appear to the uninitiated that I am the worst sort of atheist. Case in point: my rolling-stone-level reverend status.

But this was never meant as a joke. I had actually been asked to officiate a (still pending) wedding. What's a guy to do? It was never my mission to embarrass some denomination, but simply to receive legitimate status, per my friend's request.

I have hinted before about my religious belief. But as for most of you out there, it's much more complicated than can be explained in a simple post. But I'm going to try again.

I was raised in a very religious household. My mother, when she was about my age, decided that she was 'born again'. To be clear, 'decided' is an unfair word. For her, it was ordained, and she could not but follow the cause. My father, and to this day I don't understand why, followed suit. But he is much more like myself (or I, much more like him), and has extensively studied his Christian heritage. He went to seminary school for years in order to be a Deacon at our local church.

He has told me that during his final exam, he failed only one subject: morality. It would seem that his humanist leanings are too liberal for the Church. Strange, that.

My mother tells me that when I was but a little tike, I wanted to be a priest. She also tells me that when I was not more than 4 years old, I consciously made a decision to "let the Lord into my heart."

I've never told her that I remember it vividly. I was on the fourth to last step of our staircase, and I prayed to God to redeem me, and to be a part of me. Perhaps for children even more so than for men, true supplication means something. To this day, it makes me feel like a failure since I was unable to live up to my purest ideals.

But life and knowledge get in the way.

I did not simply abandon my inherited faith. Actually, I learned more than I think many have. I would direct you, if you give the slightest shit, to my first post on LP. If you care to read it, I think that I make a very strong case for my points. Still, it was miles away from what I cared about. This exchange was precipitated by boredom, and for all of my arguments, I really don't give a shit. I just like to argue, I guess.

Not being comfortable with simple science, or with institutionalized religion, I spent nearly every credit for which I cared to spend money studying philosophy and religion at the local JC. That's Junior College, not Jesus Christ, smart ass.

Assessing the philosophy that I've studied, I can only come to one conclusion: I don't know. Really.

I never mean to discredit religion. In fact, I think it's an important revelation for the masses. But an opiate, at that. Whatever makes one accept the 'golden rule' is okay in my book. If worshipping gravel makes you a decent human being, then I say good for you.

So. I've got my 'Pascal's Wager' ace in the hole, and that makes it easier for me to be so glib. Still, I recognize that if I were born in India, for example, I would likely be Hindu, Buddhist or even Muslim. What can I say?

Are you sure that if you were born elsewhere, that you would be Christian? Are you sure of that?

I don't know. Really.