Mickey and the glass pipe
SOMEBODY GET THESE DAMN DOODLE BOPS OUT OF MY HEAD!
Let me back up.
My son usually watches 30-45 minutes of Disney Channel TV in the morning while either my wife or I gets ready for work. It used to feature Jo-Jo's Circus (has anyone seen this? the theme song reminds me of Lush), the Wiggles (I briefly mentioned them before), maybe the Shanna Show or Clay.
Tutu once remarked that she wasn't fond of the Wiggles. My wife and I laughed and said to ourselves, "kids programming isn't meant for adults!"
But now, oh now, come the Doodle Bops. And they sing, and they dance, and they do all of the things one would expect of a childrens show. Except turning usually decent fathers into Doodle-cidal maniacs. Words can not describe how I loathe these damn things. My son, of course, eats it up litterally for breakfast. The worst part is, like all good kid songs, they get stuck in your head. And stay there. And the only sure way to remove them is with a bullet.
The only consolation I can take is that a full generation of kids made it through Barney without their parents committing dino-cide. Or scuicide. Either must have seemed like bliss.
Behold the terror of my dreams:
While searching for the picture above, I found exlusively negative things from parents about these freaks. I stole the photo from this blog, and I agree with everything he says in the post, except that the red mark in their hands are stigmata. They are obviously Logan's Run age discriminators. I just fear that they may have a few years left before they are quietly "retired".
And I can't stop crying, and I can't get the damn theme song out of my head, and I can't stop feeling stomach-turning bile toward the show. Won't someone please help me? Bring me back to the good ol' days of Bear and the Big Blue House?
I blame Canada, and I take back all of the forgiveness that I was willing to extend to Maine for being next to Canada and changing time zones. I realize now the evil in the hearts of all Canadians.
Oh, Mickey. What were you thinking. You'd sell your creator's dream for a few more rocks? Somebody get Goofy and Donald. It's time for an intervention.
-------------- UPDATE 5/10/05, 2:40pm
I've noticed that LP is currently in the top-5 listings for Doodle Bops on both Google and Yahoo. I hope the significant numbers of you coming for more information about the these colorful devils have learned something. Write the Canadian consulate and demand the removal of this scourge. Then offer your children a hug, because you will have made them very sad indeed.
posted by KOM @ 11:53:00 PM
13 Comments
13 Comments:
Thanks for the heads-up. I will try to ban the Doodle Bops from my house. We're still doing "normal" stuff like Blue's Clues and the Australian Hi-5 here. In fact, Hubs loves Hi-5 as much as my girl does (it's the eye candies on the show)... we'll see...
Granted, I don't think the songs were quite as insidious back then, but really, can you imagine what it must have been like for our parents to sit through the Sid & Marty Krofft stuff? I mean, Lidsville? Sigmund and the Sea Monsters? The Bugaloos? (And the song for the Bugaloos... whooo. That one still gets lodged in my brain from time to time.)
Oh wait. This was in the 70's... No, our parents (or my parents at least) were as high as the creators of those shows were... so they probably got a kick out of them too.
So there's the solution... do drugs, and you'll be able to deal. :)
Boy, I'm really not helping that whole anti drug message you were trying to spread, am I? See, that's one of the reasons I'm not having kids. What kind of role model would I be?
BTW - your little comment at the end, "Oh Mickey" totally got the song Mickey stuck in my head.
"Oh Mickey what a pity you don't understand..."
For that, you must suffer some form of punishment.
I am soooo going to bed now. Really.
WHO THE FORK ARE THOSE FREAKS?
Thanks for sharing your nightmare, I only just got over the one from next door... now again I won't be sleeping for months!
Arg
Diva - Never heard of the Hi-5, and I'm afraid of change. Please ask the Australians for me to keep their programming out of the US.
FF - I forgot to mention H R PuffnStuff. Dammit. That was actually supposed to be a cornerstone of my whole argument. Oh well.
Do I recall you mentioning the Space Coaster (?) at one time? Please fill me in on that. I thought that I had made that show up because no one else I know remembers it!
Thank god that I'm not really (wink) trying to spread an anti-drug message. Me likes 'em, and until my son is old enough to know wtf I'm talking about I intend to remember those days fondly.
As far as rolemodels go, if I can have kids, I think that nearly anyone can. But props to the mom, please. Otherwise I see myself and my son in a marijuana haze watching teletubbies and eating cheese sticks.
"You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand". Oh Basil, you were so hot before I knew what hot meant. Sigh.
Squishi, you posted serepticiously before I had a chance to finish my last response to FF and Diva. Of course I was speaking about every Australian but you. Of course.
Oh you totally did *not* make up the Great Space Coaster, and I used to have the same problem! Hmm. I won't say too much here, because yeah, this will be like a whole blog post. I'll save that for my blog. :)
But I will give you this - the TV tome page for the show. If you look on the left side on the bottom there are more links, and somewhere out there is the theme song. Go relive some memories! :)
What is this world coming to!?Something worse than BARNEY is out there?
I do miss The Wiggles (what can I say, they like the Beatles so I like them- what? Logic? Nah, went out the window when I started enjoying Sesame Street...)...and PB&J Otter...oh, who am I kidding, I miss the Disney Channel altogether, but if we had it still, we'd only watch TV all day.
Sigh. I miss those days sometimes...
I absolutely hate the Wiggles. I think that is the worst child show I have ever seen. Barney was anoying but at least he taught the kids something. You wanna talk good cartoons? Johnny Bravo... SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS!!! Now we are talking.
FF - Thank you for letting me know that I'm not crazy. Now I need to hear someone say that they remember a show about aztecs or something. Something about a flying bird and live-action kids singing in spanish and english...
Lost Identity - The most frightful thing is that the kids love this show. And there's nothing to be helped.
Psumom - Cheers to Sesame Street, I think we'd all agree the best children's show ever. But it's never on anymore! When I was a kid I couldn't throw a rock without hitting a TV showing Sesame Street, now I have to check the TV channel to see if it's on.
David - Gotta agree with you. The Wiggles are not for me, but certainly not the worst thing out there. I actually almost went to a concert with a friend of mine and our kids. But it was during nap-time, so we had to refuse. Darn kids and their schedules - they don't know what they're missing.
I hear the Sponge Bob. My son is way too young to enjoy it, so I watch it for him. Maybe I should start a scrap book.
um. I'm crushed.
I'm not the biggest fan of Hi-5 (aren't those 2 guys obviously GAY?) but the kids seem to love them to the point of wanting to sacrifice all their Barbie's and GI Joe's to just watch a show. It must be all the drugs the presenters are on..... influencing our kids to take LSD and look at all the pretty colours and sounds...
you're right. Ban it from the world! Ban Australian TV from everywhere! Just kill off all the Aus....
oh crap, what am i saying?
(ps, The Wiggles are okay tho, pity if you ever have the misfortune to see The Stargirls tho - apart from being obese, they're CRAP)
Actually, give me Humphrey B Bear any day. Sure he wears no pants and hasn't uttered a single word in the 35 years he's been on TV, but at least he doesn't look like a Magic Mushroom Trip 5 second "wow that's great! Kids will love it!" freak show.
Remove this vileness from my sight.
I have a 21month old and really I think the Doodle Bops are colorful, and there music keeps things up and cheery. I think it is wild that alot of people do not like them...i mean look at all the killing and violence out there and we are complaining about some young people dressed in funky colors.
So I say keep them on your tv, celebrate the fun your child is having, get up and dance. Enjoy these shows because as they get older then they get into shows you gotta sensor..not that is a conversation to have!
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