The land of Nod, on the east of Eden

I'm not Catholic, but I believe in Purgatory.

I believe it because I fear it.

And I know what I fear.

The Talking Heads say Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens. I don't entirely disagree. But I believe Purgatory is a place where nothing ever happens. Well, not quite nothing.

My idea of nothingness and waiting is that, once parsed, you are assigned a song that you don't really remember. For example, the theme song to T.J. Hooker. Or perhaps an obscure America or Grand Funk Railroad B-side. Something that you haven't heard in years, if ever.

Then you are asked to transpose the entire song note for note, lyric for lyric. If Manfred Mann's Earth Band sings "wrapped up like a douche", you will have to understand that it's "duece".

Once per year, and only once per year, you are allowed to take your findings to the Curator. He will either allow you to pass, or fail you, again, to another year of trying to piece together a forgotten memory.

He will not let you know how close you are, or if a musical phrase or lyric is correct. Only yes or no.

And you will toil nearly forever. Finally, due to the logic of infinite monkeys, and infinite typewriters, you may finally escape. Rather, be reassigned. And you may finally be forwarded to Heaven.

A place where nothing ever happens.