Home improvement
Ah, the fourth of July. I officially turn 1/2 year older this day. For those of you whose math skills are only slightly better than mine, I think that makes my birthday in September. No, that can't be right. Whatever; as long as I remember our anniversary, the wife will let me know.
I took a big step in my sad, sad emotional life and installed a pet door in the outside garage door. Now the cats can come and leave as they please. The last time I let one of my cats out was a particularly intense experience. But it ended well.
We have one cat that we adopted recently that has been an outdoor cat, so he has come and gone as he's pleased pretty much since we got him. But the other cats are spoiled brats that have grown up inside, and were afraid to walk on grass for months.
I'm happy to say that both of the "indoor" cats have come back several times already, and seem to be enjoying freedom tempered with creature comfort. I just hope that they don't jump into the neighbor's yard when the dogs are out. We also live on the artery, if you will, of the neighborhood. I trust that they think large metal chunks traveling at 30+mph are scary enough to bother moving. But I don't put anything above them, princesses that they are.
The pet door that I installed is a POS. And not even a Star Wars POS, dammit.
The screws are rubber. That bears repeating, I think. The screws are rubber. In fact, they serve very little purpose. You are supposed to drill a hole directly though the door, then jimmy the screws through! They latch on to nuts on the other end.
After less than 12 hours, the rubber "door" portion of the contraption fell off. Now I have to jimmy the damn rubber screws off to re-attach the door. God bless it! Bob Villa is twitching somewhere. My "home improvement" has resulted, basically, in a large, square hole in the outside garage door.
Thankfully, I have a large tree out front from which to hang an engine. If I'm going white-trash, I might as well go all the way. I've also been looking online for design plans for a meth lab. Especially now that I have excellent ventilation in the garage.
Kick up yer heels, Jessup, we's goin' raise some shit tuhnight!
posted by KOM @ 10:00:00 PM
9 Comments
9 Comments:
Yay for kitties! Yay for Kitty Freedom Fighters!
And happy 1/2 birthday. We celebrate 1/2 birthdays in my family (for some unknown reason) :)
Hey KOM, would you employ me to make meth? LOL!
Hmm. If you princess kitties are really that spoiled they might not take kindly to the new white-trash look you?re going for. Distraught by the enviroment they've been subjected to, they might just hurl themselves into the neighbors yard or in front of the storming truck. And if you're going white trash, don't forget the yard art-- you'll be the talk of the neighborhood!
Hey, white trash or not, at least with the kitty door you're no longer just cat staff.
If you look at my profile I stated I was training my lab to chase and kill cats. That started out as a joke, but now for some reason people are dropping off cats at my house! I went from having 3 to around 10. Time to seriously thin the herd. Can I just drop them off at your place KOM?
Perhaps you would like to purchase a rarely used RV to park next to the tree? You can sell tamales and turkey legs out the side window to pay for a contractor to fix that cat door.
Cats Rule (at least at your house they do)! Glad the kitty-babies are doing well. I won't let mine out after Evil disappeared. Evil actually looks a lot like Stanzi so I am going to assume he picked a good place to be buried in.
When I lived in Hell, NE--the lawn decorations in one yard included a bathtub and toilet bowl turned into flower containers. I think they would look wonderful under your engine in a tree.
You're all too kind, people - I had no idea how difficult the "rural" look would be to emulate. I assumed that these things just fell into place. No one told me that I had to plan where to put the broken refridgerator. Maybe I should call in a feng shui advisor.
And, no, David. I don't want your cats, thanks. I realize that I'm fully delusional, but I insist that as long as we don't have 4 cats, we aren't "cat people". This will change to 5 when we get our 4th cat :)
Indeed you already are a Catman, Kom. Just like old Malcolm MacDowell, but different. Apparently you married outside your bloodline, but pretty soon you'll have cats roaming the place, spraying wherever the hell they feel like it, crapping on the floor, pissing, shitting, and spraying, maybe laughing in that nasty language of sexual innuendos they've developed over past few hundred generations of domesticity. Then afterwards, all your posts will come from the tank of a carnival porta-potty where you are hiding and looking up at the ladies' snizzes while they evacuate, taking pictures all the while to add to your extensive collection. That's when the police arrest you and the postings stop until you post bail, and we get re-introduced to KOM with the words, "You'll never guess what happened this weekend!"
Fix the pet door or get rid of the cats. It can only lead to something bad. Sorta like my planned 4-day drinking binge, but different. You won't see my bloodshot glistening eyes staring back at you from the murky depths of a porta-potty tank.
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