Monday, January 09, 2006

Lacivious Polyphony comes to an end

This will be the final post of Lacivious Polyphony.

I was thinking to myself, "Self, you enjoy blogging. What could make it even better?"

"Well," I answered myself, "I wish I were paying for the privilege."

Unable to refuse my sweet mug and puppy-dog eyes, I plopped down the cash.

http://lasciviouspolyphony.com/blog

Notice the 's'. I can finally duck questions about why I misspelled 'lacivious'. If you care, there's an explanation somewhere in the sidebar.

Extra special icing and sprinkles gracias to Mel for the inspiration, and more than a little help in beginning the process.

If things go poorly, she will be first against the wall. It's hard to leave a smiley emoticon after a statement like that.

I hope to see you all lurking around the new digs.

-KOM

A brief dream XV

Last night I dreamed that I was listening to "It's my Party", when I realized that the lyrics are actually about trying to steal money for cab fare to a methadone clinic.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Upcoming announcement

I have some changes in store for Li'l' Ol' LP. Please accept that you may be forced to live without new posts for a few days.

I'll be back with more news as soon I can.
Read: when I get around to it.

-KOM

I've got to put stickers on my stuff...

Our two year-old loves to walk around the house assigning objects to people. By far, the majority of items are "mine". My train! My chair! My sanitary napkins!

Which is what made it all the funnier last night when he walked over to the couch, and pointed at two objects sitting on the cushion.

To the remote he said "Daddy's!"
To the phone he said "Mommy's!"

I explained that while mommy generally uses the phone more than I do, it's our phone. Just like the remote, which both of use.

"Yeah right," said my wife from across the room, almost, but not quite, under her breath.

"Mommy can use it when daddy goes to sleep," I amended. I was only sort of joking.

Monday, January 02, 2006

The LP one-year retrospective spectacular!

The planets are nearly aligned. This was to be my 365th post, on my birthday, celebrating one year of Li'l' Ol' LP. Instead, and to avoid any Seventh Son of a Seventh Son biblical issues, this is the 364th post, near my birthday, a few days early of the actual 1-year anniversary of LP.

I have tried to collect my favorite posts from the last 12 months. It's very difficult for me to take a step back and allow these posts to live on their own - I want to preface each and every one with contextual back story. It's also been terribly difficult to pick my favorites out of the hundreds of posts that I've written. Some of my favorites have been dropped, just because I've organized on a monthly time-table, and there ain't room for them all.

I sincerely hope that you choose to look through these memories. And please feel free to cruise through the archives if you enjoy what you've read.



January
:

First, Something on the Lighter Side

Honorable mention:

LP First Post


February:

My Friends Are Much Cooler Than I

Honorable mention:

Slowly


March:

Final Thoughts on the Germany Experience.

Honorable mention:

Schiavo


April:

Stream of Consciousness Saturday

Honorable mentions:

Dali Ticket
Things I've learned as a dad


May:

Good Times Bad Times

Honorable mentions:

Clause von Monkeysadd
Bachelor's Guide


June:

Depeche Mode Cowboy

Honorable mentions:

Vader Built My Hotrod
Kom Gets a Haircut
Land of Flat and Plenty


July:

Urine Souffle

Honorable mentions:

Painful Childhood Memory
LP Gets Lucky


August:

You Make the Rocking World Go Round

Honorable mentions:

Imagined Exchange
Same Weekend - KOM as Asshole V.2.0


September:

Open Letter to Wang Chung

Honorable mentions:

A Fair Warning
Led Bush


October:

Casting Ivory Before Swine

Honorable mentions:

I'm Not Fond of Penile Legions
Do You Know How to Suck Dick?
Perrier Eleison


November:

KOMs Time Machine

Honorable mentions:

Fasting on Mount Terrible Two
Squeel, CA


December:

Freeform Friday, The Xmas Post

Honorable mention:

That Which May Not Be Named

TY CS AKA TSW

"But I still think my interpretation is more interesting than his truth."

The above referenced line comes from the book Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs, by Chuck Klosterman. As is my usual habit, I dove into this book while reading several others: Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them (Franken), and The Book of Imaginary Beings (Borges).

The Borges book is quite interesting, but not quite what I would ever have expected. It's basically (as the name implies), a bestiary of mythological characters. When I was younger, I colored nearly every page of a very similar book.

But not to be glib, this is the book that Joseph Campbell might have written were he more interested in the existing than of the of existing.

Not that this is fair, either. Let's just say that if you're familiar with Borges, you may be surprised at the brevity of cultural significance imparted by this book. If you've never heard of Borges, this particular piece will likely pass you by. Still, like all of his work that I've spent time studying, I'm sure that there are many surprises missed the first time around.

"Like life," I feel completely unqualified to say, Borges may have stated.

The Franken book is pretty damn funny, but a bit short on the details. I know that Bill O'Reilly is the henchman of the antichrist. Most of us know that. Even those who live and die by his show. But as a political piece, I imagine that it's about as entertaining and accurate as Anne Coulter with dysentery: we love to watch her squirm, but we also know that the shit coming out of her is just that - watered down shit. For the 99% of us that don't believe everything that comes from either Ari Fleisher or Michael Moore, it's a bit pedantic.

On the other hand, I would rather read an encyclopedia by Franken than a by-line by Sean Hannity. I actually respect Franken. I personally think that he's pretty darn funny (despite the whole Stuart Smalley thing), and I can tell that he thinks that he cares about politics. I'm a blue-state through and through, but I also have the ability (lacking in both the left and the right) to think for myself. But I can't abide by his choice to attack the talk-show radio right on their own ground. People like O'Reilly, Hannity and Limbaugh are bad for America. They profess to be good for America, all the while viciously attacking 50% of the country. Sadly, Al Franken has decided to fight fire with fire. It makes me sick to my stomach that most liberals believe that the best way to fight the Right is on their (the Right's) own terms.

You know, in conversation I always seem to come out as a relativist. I hate that. I usually consider myself liberal, but I find myself agreeing with several conservative points. I don't know if this is the chipping-away of youth, in which my ideology is slowly transmuted into concern for Me and Mine, or if I've actually always been of two minds. I bet people in other countries mock America for lining up in two simple queues.

Still, social relativism leads to things like the LA race riots. And a little thing that just happened in France. Unfortunately, the flip-side of relativism leads to Dachau. Except that we would never let that happen here. Because we're smarter, more informed, and dog gon'it, people like us.

Especially interred Japanese Americans.

But I've totally digressed, and probably already lost a lot of the people that the first half of this post was aimed at. "A lot" of people is relative, of course, because very few people read this. And I'm starting to understand why!

But it all leads well into Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs. This book drove me crazy, the least of which was because I was thinking simultaneously about winged horses and lying conservatives. Actually, the reason that it nearly killed me is that I kept flopping between: "I would love to be able to write like this", and "What a fucking hack."

What bothers me the most is that this is exactly the response the fucker wanted me to have.

In one essay, Klosterman details every reason why I love (and this a big thing for me to admit, so please sit down if you haven't already done so) Billy Joel. Point for frickin' point, I said to myself "Yeah, those are all things that I should have told my friends!", instead of changing the subject to Metallica and trying to remember the words to Master Of Puppets while Goodnight Saigon played in my mental background.

But then Klosterman quickly makes me his worst type of loser for only owning a best-of album, and judging my love of his music for anything less than the most obsucre B-sides. And at the same time, he makes fun of people that only listen to obscure tracks. This motherfucker covers all of his bases.

Or, as I'm honestly surprised he didn't himself state, All Your Base Belong to Klosterman. If you don't get it, it's probably best that you don't read this book. If you do, it's probably best that you don't read this book.

I found myself going round after round with this guy, but it wasn't fair because I couldn't argue. And if I could have argued, I wouldn't be half as articulate.

Smart people who think they're always right... suck. That's right, I don't have anything else, and I admit it. Fuck you, Klosterbag douche McVulvalips.

At the same time, I was compelled to read every word, line, paragraph and chapter of the damnable book.

You all know what kind of person Klosterman is. He's that guy that you've always hated. But one time he put his arm around you and took you in. He showed you your first porno, smoked you your first joint, introduced you to your first girlfriend. Then one day he sucker punched you and stole all of your money.

You still hate him, but if you ever saw him again, say, getting beat up in an alley behind a seedy bar, you'd help. And when you'd finally driven off the assailants, your ribs bruised and your breath thick, you'd help him up. He'd buy you a beer inside, tell you about his amazing life, perhaps even introduce you to your future wife.

Then he'd sneak out and stiff you with the tab.

Thank you, Carter. It was great.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Bushism VII - The final frontier

"I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to asnwer questions. I can't answer your question."

In response to a question about whether he wished he could take back any of his answers in the first debate; Reynoldsburg, Ohio; October 4, 200